Seven Days
by Lynnie Kleriker
Summary: Ike has a week from hell when all of the female mercenaries are PMSing at one time. Ilyana x Soren, implied Mia x Shinon. slight Boyd x Titania if you squint and tilt your head to the side. All characters c Nintendo. That means they aren't mine.
1. Chapter 1

Ike felt that it was going to be an awkward morning

It was a day off in the Greil Mercenaries', just to be used for taking inventory, training, discussing battle tactics, and buying new weapons for those who broke their weapons a lot (Such as Boyd who always was breaking his axes). Ike had woken up at around 8:00 in the morning and immediately went to breakfast; this is when he noticed something was not right.

First off, Mist wasn't helping Oscar prepare the meal like usual. Instead, Mist was busy devouring all food in sight (Much like Ilyana would) and demanding that a scared Oscar make the oddest food imaginable. (Really, who would to eat bacon cheesecake with gravy on top of it for breakfast?). When Mist noticed Ike in the room, she immediately ran over to him.

"I-ike!" She cried, "Oscar won't make me bacon cheesecake!" Mist clung to Ike's shirt and began crying into it. The blue-haired mercenary patted her back confused. He slowly walked over towards the scared lance knight and whispered into his ear.

"Oscar," Ike began saying in a hushed tone, "do you have any idea what's wrong with Mist?" Oscar shook his head.

"I don't know she just came to breakfast like this." Oscar whispered back, "Either way, I have a feeling I will regret it if I don't do what she says. You might want to leave while you still can." Ike looked towards his crying sister and then back to Oscar.

"I think I'll do that… Good luck with my sister, Oscar." Ike replied before leaving the kitchen while hearing Oscar trying to comfort Mist with promises of making Bacon Cheesecake for the young cleric.

--

After that disturbing sight, Ike left the tent in order to find Soren. The mercenary hoped that the Wind Sage might have a little insight as to why Mist was acting so oddly. Ike walked over to Soren's tent and gasped once he saw what the branded Sage was doing.

Soren had been pushed up against a nearby tree by Ilyana and was being kissed to death by the Thunder Sage. The lavender-haired Sage was undoing various buckles on Soren's outfit and had slung her leg around Soren's waist. Ike coughed to get the pair's attention. Ilyana growled.

"Do you mind? Can't you see we're busy?" Ilyana yelled at Ike who covered his ears, "I want Soren to fuck me until I can't walk straight for a week." Ilyana said seductively into Soren's ear. Soren blushed as Ilyana attacked the Wind Sage's neck with her teeth. Soren let out a small moan.

"Ike…" Soren said before moaning softly again, "This really isn't the time if you can't tell-ELL." Soren gasped as Ilyana bit down extra hard.

"Soren, I really need to talk to you about something." Ike responded.

"Well it can wait, okay?" Soren snapped out before being dragged into his tent by Ilyana who was already throwing off her and Soren's cloaks. Ike blinked twice.

"Eww…" He muttered before walking away again.

--

Ike was officially puzzled. He was confused because of two of the females in the Greil Mercenaries were currently acting completely out of character and clinically insane. No man deserved to ever see a Mist begging for bacon cheesecake and an Ilyana eating off her boyfriend's face first thing in the morning. He shuddered again at the thought before colliding with another odd site.

"Oh, Ike, it's you… Sorry I bumped into you…" Mia replied timidly with her head facing the ground. Ike looked a little confused at Mia's lack of usual hyperactivity. In fact, Mia looked a little like she was about to burst into tears.

"No Mia, it's fine… You don't have to worry about it." Ike replied calmly, worried about making the usually peppy girl cry. 'Oh shit,' Ike thought as her eyes began to water.

"I can't do anything right!" The swordsmaster cried out, "And you know what?" Mia pointed to Ike before clinging to his stomach and crying some more, "Shinon probably wants to break up with me!" The swordsmaster was sobbing into a confused Ike's chest muttering about how she loved Shinon and didn't want to break up with him, also about how she desperately wanted some bacon cheesecake at the moment.

"Shinon doesn't want to break up with you, he likes you," Ike explained, "And I think Oscar is making Mist some bacon cheesecake… She might let you have some?" Ike said before being forced into a giant hug by a once again peppy Mia.

"Thanks Ike!" She squealed before kissing him on the cheek and running to get, what Ike assumed to be, some bacon cheesecake. Ike had to wonder to himself why all the girls wanted bacon cheesecake out of all things.

--

At this point Ike was starting to fear the sanity of all the girls in camp. First, Mist was acting mean towards Oscar and demanding bacon cheesecake. Second, Ilyana was trying to eat off Soren's face this morning. Finally, Mia was attacking like a little emo child and panicking over whether her boyfriend still loved her. This was very far from any of these girls' usual behaviors. He continued walking around the camp, looking for somebody sane. Instead, he found an emotionally scarred Boyd and a Titania who was picking flowers and forcing Boyd's opinion on each.

"Boyd?" Titania asked sweetly, "What do you think? Will the blue flower look better in the bouquet? Or the pink flower?" Boyd looked absolutely horrified, Titania normally was the person who would never go out and pick flowers. Instead she would probably be training or helping Soren with the battle tactics. Titania ignored Boyd's horrified expression and continued talking, "I agree Boyd; the pink flower is much prettier than the blue flower!" Boyd noticed Ike standing near the two.

"Help me…" He gasped out quietly. Titania looked this time as well and noticed Ike.

"Hello Ike! Isn't it a marvelous day? It's a marvelous day! Boyd and I were just picking flowers! Flowers are pretty! Don't you agree Ike?" She waited for a response and Ike nodded his head, "Glad you agree! I am making a pretty bouquet! Boyd is helping! He is being very helpful…" Ike sort-of tuned out after hearing that Titania was just going to ramble on and on. He walked over to Boyd.

"What's wrong with Titania?" He asked Boyd.

"I don't know… I just went up to her to ask if I could borrow an axe and she dragged me off."

"She isn't the only one acting weird. Mist was yelling at Oscar and demanding that he make bacon cheesecake for her… Which if you ask me sounds very disgusting. Ilyana was eating off Soren's face and pretty much demanding sex from him… Mia was acting all depressed and crying about how she thought Shinon would leave her, and now Titania is picking flowers! What has happened to the girls in the Greil Mercenaries?" Ike asked Boyd.

"I don't know… I say we just wait it out… It is probably just for today right?" Boyd asked.

"I have the feeling it might be a whole lot longer…" Ike responded before Titania dragged off Boyd singing about pretty flowers. Ike just walked back to his tent in hopes of sleeping the entire day away, away from all of the crazy females.

--

At the end of the day all of the girls in the Greil Mercenaries were sitting down at the dining hall's table eating bacon cheesecake and discussing their days.

"So I was like so pissed! Soren passed out after 5 rounds! Who knew he would get so exhausted! I mean come on! It was only 5 rounds in a row! I could've gone for at least 5 more!" Ilyana ranted to the other girls. Mia looked sadly towards the ground.

"At least he gave you some attention! I know Shinon wants to break up with me!" Mia cried out. Titania patted her back in sympathy.

"Don't worry Mia, he loves you." She said kindly. She then noticed all of the bacon cheesecake was gone, "DAMNIT OSCAR! THERE IS NO MORE BACON CHEESECAKE! MAKE SOME MORE!" The poor squinty-eyed knight winced and then went to the kitchen to make some bacon cheesecake.

"I have been feeling so off this past day." Mist said to the other girls, who nodded in sympathy.

"I agree," Ilyana replied, "PMS sucks… but at least it will be over in seven days!" She said cheerfully just as Ike was walking into the room.

"YOU MEAN YOU WILL BE LIKE THIS FOR A WEEK?" Ike screamed before running out of the dining tent in a panic where he prepared himself for the worst week of his known life, the week where all of the female mercenaries were PMSing at one time.

'Well,' He thought to himself, 'One day down, six to go."


	2. Day 2

Day 2:

Day 2:

Ike was surprised (and slightly relieved) that he didn't see the girls in the breakfast hall that morning. There had been a small scouting mission early in the morning, so he saw no need to go to the psychotic females and send them when he could just as easily send Shinon and Gatrie. Ike had sent the message for the mission to Gatrie and told him to find Shinon and go. (Ike didn't like talking to Shinon, and Shinon didn't like talking to Ike. Everyone agreed it was better to have Gatrie be the messenger) It had been about 30 minutes since Ike had talked to Gatrie, which is why he was surprised to see the Lance General rushing up to him.

"You're done already?" Ike asked in confusion. He had expected the pair to be gone all day.

Gatrie shook his head, "I can't find Shinon anywhere. I checked his tent, the dining hall, the training fields, I asked Rolf, Shinon is missing." Gatrie declared. Ike sighed.

"Bring Rolf and Boyd with you instead, I'll look for Shinon here." Gatrie nodded and ran off to find the two brothers while Ike pondered where Shinon could be.

'It's odd,' Ike thought to himself, 'where could Shinon be… and now that I think about I haven't seen Soren either…' then it hit Ike like a ton of bricks, 'Oh no, the girls!' Ike rushed towards Mia's tent and opened the tent flap quickly.

"Nothing here." He said aloud before running over to Ilyana's tent. He opened the flap and, again, nothing was there besides the usual furniture, "Darn it, where could they be?" Ike ran towards Mist's tent just in time to hear some voices inside.

"What do you think? The purple bow, or the green one?" That sounded like Ilyana's voice.

"I think we should save the purple bow for him, and put the green one on him!" Uh oh… Titania was in there too… and it sounded like she hadn't gotten over yesterday's cheeriness.

"You're right!" That was Ilyana's voice again, Ike could faintly hear some more giggling, which he assumed was from Mist and Mia. He also heard some muffled sounds of protest… Were people gagged in there?

"Mist!" That was Mia's voice… It sounded like she was whining about something, "I broke another hair tie… Where do you keep your extras?"

"On the shelf over there." Mist responded. Ike could hear some rustling noises now; he assumed that meant that Mia was going to get the hair ties from the shelf. Ike continued listening in on the girls' conversation.

"After this, can we do their makeup** (1)**?" Titania asked the girls; she was met with squeals of excitement… and more muffled sounds of protest.

"That will be so much fun! Can we also dress them up?" Mist asked excitedly. Louder sounds of protest came.

"That would be so much fun! I'll go grab some stuff from my tent right now!" Ilyana squealed. Ike hid behind a tree for when Ilyana walked out.

"I'm coming too!" Mia yelled before the two emerged from the tent and began walking towards Ilyana's tent. Ike stayed behind the tree for when the two girls came back.

"Mist!" That was Titania's voice through the tent, "We're out of bacon cheesecake! We should go get Oscar to make some more…"

"Alright! Let's go. Mia and Ilyana will probably know where we are…" Mist said and the two girls left the tent as well. Ike saw this as his opportunity to check who… or what the girls were hiding in their tent. He approached the tent and opened up the tent only to see Soren and Shinon both tied up with rope and gagged. The sage and sniper both had their long hair loose, and covered in ribbons, bows, anything that could be thought of **(2)**. Once both of the tied up men noticed Ike, they began making frantic noises.

"Wow Soren, Shinon, what have they done to you?" This comment from Ike earned two death glares from the tied up men. "Alright, I'll untie you." Ike walked over and untied the two men who immediately started rubbing their arms and pulling the ribbons and bows out of their hair.

"How long were you waiting there?" Shinon spat out, "We've been here since 5AM!"

"Hey! I did come to rescue you… And we might want to run… the girls will be back soon." Ike responded a little too late, as Ilyana and Mia had just come back to the tent with fancy dresses in hand **(3). **They then noticed the lack of ties on Soren and Shinon… As well as the fact that Ike was now in the room.

"Shinney… Sorey?" Ilyana began, hands fingering her Arcthunder tome, "You weren't thinking of running away, were you?" All three of the men in the room gulped.

"No…" Soren said slowly, looking around the room for anything that the three men could use as a weapon. A tome, a bow, an axe… Anything one of the three men might be able to escape with.

"That's good! We were just getting started! Oh Ike! When did you come by? Did you want us to do your hair as well?" Ilyana asked. Ike gulped.

"No… it's alright. My hair is too short to do anything fancy to anyways, right?" Ike responded, pulling at some of his short, blue hair.

"Nonsense!" Mia shouted out, "We can think of something! Can't we Ilyana?"

Ilyana beamed, "Of course! We are hair experts! How else do you think I get my hair into these low pigtails every day?" Ilyana asked, pointing to her hair. Ike gulped.

"Can we not be tied up this time?" Shinon asked nervously.

"It depends," Mia explained, "We only tied you up because you struggled. Are you going to struggle?" Mia asked. The three men shook their heads.

"That's good! It's so much easier if you don't struggle!" Ilyana exclaimed happily, then looked around, "Hey… Where did Titania and Mist go?" Soren raised an eyebrow.

"You just noticed?" Soren asked, "I think they both went to get some… er… bacon cheesecake from Oscar." Soren stated.

"Great! We were running out! Now all of you sit down, we need to get started on your hair again!" Ilyana exclaimed. Pushing the three mercenaries down so they were sitting, and immediately starting to work on Ike's hair. Mia joined her, adding various ribbons and bows to Ike's hair. Minutes later, Titania and Mist came back with bacon cheesecake (Oscar was now making it every minute, he didn't want to feel the wrath of Mist again). Both of the girls seemed delighted at their new addition, and immediately went to work on Ike's hair.

--

At the end of the day, the girls finally let Soren, Shinon, and Ike free. None of the men had any dignity left.

Ike was wearing a knee-length blue skirt with a white tank top. He was also wearing ankle-high black boots and a brown choker necklace with a silver pendant on it. His blue hair had been flattened down (How the girls had done this, Ike had no idea) and was tied up with orange bows. His face had had light pink lipstick on it, as well as a light pink blush and pale purple eye shadow.

Soren was dressed in a mid-thigh length light-purple skirt with a long sleeved purple shirt. On top of his shirt was a black corset around his waist. He was wearing black sandals. His hair was tied up in two twin-buns on top of his head, with dark purple ribbons streaming down from it. His bangs were left out and kept in the usual style. Soren had the same makeup as Ike.

Shinon was dressed the worst out of the three. He was clothed in a dark green mini-dress with sleeves like the one's on Ilyana's shirt, thigh-high lace-up red boots, A tight, white corset on top of the dress, and a dark green cloak with a light green outlining. His hair was in two low pigtails, and his bangs were loose. His makeup was the same as the other two men.

"You couldn't have just ordered them to stop?" Shinon growled at Ike, who gave him an 'Are you kidding?' look.

"Would you have gone against them?" Ike asked, raising an eyebrow. Shinon growled at Ike before going off to, what Ike assumed was, clean the makeup off, change clothes, and redo his hair. He looked towards Soren, "So… is it really worth it to get changed and face the girl's wrath? Or should we just face the humiliation?"

"I think I'll just spend the rest of the day in my room. I don't want to face the girl's anger, nor do I want to face the humiliation of the other mercenaries seeing me. I'll see you tomorrow, Ike." With that, Soren walked off and Ike was left to ponder what to do on his own. He stood there thinking for at least 3 minutes until Gatrie came rushing up towards him.

"Ike, I just came back to- WOAH!" The knight exclaimed, looking at the ground awkwardly, "Didn't know you were into this sort of thing Ike… But I came here to tell you the scouting mission was a success with no unnecessary fights and we didn't find anything out…" Gatrie began twiddling his thumbs awkwardly.

"Thank you, Gatrie, you should go." Ike responded. Shooing Gatrie away. Once the Lance General was a fair distance away, Ike began rubbing his temples.

"Two days down, five to go." Ike muttered before walking away for a good's night sleep.

--

**For the sake of this fanfic, they have makeup. Maybe Elincia gave them some?**

**You can't say you've never wanted to do this!**

**Anyways, thanks you for all the reviews/favorites/alerts. I think it is pretty good for my first story! **

**Fire Emblem © Nintendo. Meaning, it doesn't belong to me. Please don't sue me…**


	3. Chapter 3

Day 3:

Day 3:

After yesterday's disasters, Shinon, Soren, and Ike had all cleaned up. This morning, Ike had fortunately only really seen Mia out of the girls. (Mia had gone to the kitchen to ask for whipped cream. Ike didn't even want to know why; Mia had been holding a whip and handcuffs when she asked for the whipped cream). In order to avoid any contact with the psychotic girls Ike decided to go train where he usually did. Ike grabbed Ragnell and walked off.

Ike managed to get in a couple of hours of training in before Titania interrupted him.

"Ike!" she called out, "I challenge you to a fight!" Titania declared before pumping her fist into the air. Ike raised his eyebrows.

"Alright, but don't complain when you lose, like usual.** (1)**" Ike responded before covering his mouth quickly with his hand.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Titania yelled before grabbing a steel poleax and rushing towards Ike on her horse. Ike jumped out of the way as Titania swung her axe at Ike.

"Titania! I'm sorry!" Ike called out before dodging another swing of Titania's steel poleax. Ike sighed.

'If I beat her, it will all be over faster.' Ike thought to himself. He grabbed Ragnell and began to fight back.

The pair both swung their weapons at each other, only occasionally hitting one another. The fight went on for an hour at least, but ended when Titania managed to get a critical hit on Ike. The blue-haired mercenary was left knocked out.

"That'll teach you to say horrible things about me!" Titania yelled before kicking Ike's body and walking away.

--

"Hey Titania, have you seen Ike anywhere?" Soren asked the Axe Paladin, "I need to get him to check up on all of the weapon status." Soren explained, "He didn't do it two days ago, and it needs to be done."

"Sorry Soren, I haven't the faintest idea as to where he might be." Titania said, faking innocence.

"Well if you see him, tell him to come meet me." Soren replied calmly.

"I think I can do that! Bye Soren!" Titania said in a peppy voice that was becoming more and more normal for her. Soren sighed and continued walking in search of Ike. He soon bumped into Rolf and Boyd, who were arguing about whether skill was more important than strength.

"Rolf, Boyd, have either of you seen Ike around? I need to talk to him." Soren stated.

"He went off to train this morning, but that was the last I saw of him." Boyd responded, "Hey Soren, which is more important, strength or skill?" Soren sighed. This wasn't getting him anywhere.

"Just tell him I need to see him if you can find him. And go ask Mist or something… I really don't care." Soren responded, before pausing for a second, "Wait, you said he was training, right?" Soren questioned.

"Yes… This morning he went off to train… I think Titania went to train as well…" Boyd answered, "How does that relate to anything?" Soren, being the smart tactician that he was, managed to put two and two together. He sighed.

"Do you know where Ike went to train?" Soren asked. Boyd nodded.

"Where he usually does. That weird place near the trees." Boyd responded.

"Find Rhys for me, we need to go there. I have a feeling I know what happened." Soren responded before walking over to the training area.

--

Rhys and Soren were now approaching Ike's training area. Soren sighed and rubbed his temples. This was not turning out to be his best week at all. First, he had Ilyana drag him into her tent and have fun with him until he passed out (Soren admitted the first few times were good, but five rounds was pushing it). Second, Soren had been forced into complete drag with Ike and Shinon. And finally, Soren couldn't find Ike to help him check up on weapons.

"Ike should be there. I hope Titania didn't kill him." Soren stated calmly as Rhys pushed away a bush and gasped at what he saw.

"Ashera! What happened to Ike?" Rhys yelled out before running to the fallen mercenary and healing him with his mend staff.

"Ike got into a sparring fight with Titania… And apparently, Ike lost." Soren stated before walking over to Ike as well. Rhys used his mend staff on Ike again, hoping Ike would wake up. Fortunately, Ike did.

"Goddess," Ike murmured out, "What happened? I can only remember going out here to train… and then Titania came up and challenged me to a fight. Oh, I remember now… She beat me up because I said she better not complain if she loses like usual." Ike said to himself. Soren and Rhys gave him odd looks.

"Well Ike, I came here to tell you that you have to find out which weapons I need to restock, I can buy them from Aimee." Soren said before turning to walk away, "And Ike, why would you insult any of the girls at this particular time? It is practically signing your own death wish." Soren walked away at this point. Rhys turned to Ike.

"After your done finding out the status of the weapons you should try to get some rest." Rhys explained, "Titania hit you pretty hard. I wouldn't be surprised if you were still injured slightly." Ike nodded, and Rhys went off to do Ashera-knows-what. Ike sighed and began walking back to camp. Unfortunately, he knew he couldn't go sleep the rest of the day away. It was only around five at night. That, and Soren would probably have his head if he didn't check on the weapon status. He reached the camp and went to find Boyd and Rolf first.

"Boyd, Rolf, do either of you-Wait, what happened to you two?" Ike asked, noting the fact that the two brothers were tied together. Completely. Rope covered both of their bodies from neck to feet.

"We asked Mist what she thought about our argument… Turns out, she was tired of us fighting about this." Rolf groaned before trying to pull his body away from Boyd's.

"Go ask Rhys to help you or something,** (2)**" Ike commanded, "Now, do either of you need new weapons?" The two brothers attempted to shake their heads, but didn't have much success due to the ropes.

"We don't need any new weapons." Boyd responded. Ike nodded.

"Alright, do either of you two know where Oscar is?" Ike asked.

"He should be with Mist starting the evening meal." Boyd replied. Ike nodded and walked away, leaving the two brothers to attempt to get themselves untied. Before Ike was at the dining tent, he could faintly hear a frustrated Boyd yell out, "Wait, Ike! Come back and untie us!"

Ike entered the dining tent to see a, surprisingly calm, Mist helping Oscar prepare the meal. The pair was talking calmly and Oscar was showing Mist how to prepare a new kind of soup. Ike cleared his throat to get Mist and Oscar's attention.

"Excuse me," Ike said politely, "Do either of you need new weapons? Soren is restocking later."

"I need a new javelin." Oscar stated.

"I could probably use a new heal staff." Mist added before turning back towards the soup she was preparing with Oscar. Ike nodded.

"I'll tell Soren that, thank you both." Ike replied before walking out of the tent.

'That was easy," Ike thought to himself, "Let me think, I need to talk to Ilyana, Gatrie, Rhys, Mia, Shinon, and Titania." Ike shuddered at having to see Titania again. He was still a little nervous after being knocked out with an axe for the majority of the day. He made a decision to see Titania last, maybe when he had Soren with him to prevent further injury. Ike wandered towards Rhys' tent to check if the bishop needed any new healing staffs or light tomes. He opened up the flap only to see Rhys healing a very embarrassed Gatrie who was holding onto his crotch for dear life.

"Do I even want to know what happened?" Ike asked, raising an eyebrow and looking between Rhys and Gatrie. Rhys sighed.

"Gatrie decided to hit on Ilyana." The bishop explained, "And Ilyana got a little bit annoyed. She decided to attempt to castrate Gatrie via Arcthunder tome." Ike sighed and rubbed his temples. He really couldn't wait until this week was over. Rhys continued talking, "Luckily, the damage Ilyana did is curable."

"Okay, now, do either of you need any new weapons?" Ike asked. Rhys and Gatrie both shook their heads. Ike nodded and left the tent without another word.

Ike continued on and managed to find out the weapon situation of everybody with not much else significant happening. It turned out that Ilyana needed a new Arcthunder tome (She had used up all of her old one attempting to castrate Gatrie), Mist needed a new heal staff, Oscar needed a new javelin, Mia needed a killing edge, and Titania needed a set of throwing axes. Ike wandered over towards Soren to tell him of his report.

"Okay Soren," Ike started saying, "Mia needs a killing edge, Ilyana needs an Arcthunder tome, Mist needs a heal staff, Oscar needs a javelin, Titania needs throwing daggers." Ike stated, Soren nodded and turned to leave before Ike interrupted him, "Wait Soren," Soren turned back, "Did you teach Ilyana how to castrate with thunder magic?" Soren raised an eyebrow at this.

"Ike, have you been sleeping enough?" Soren asked, genuinely concerned. "Maybe you should go to sleep early… I can handle things from here." Ike opened his mouth to say something, but then remembered what Rhys had said about him getting some rest. He sighed and walked off to bed.

'Three days down,' Ike thought, 'Four to go.'

**--**

**(1) In Radiant Dawn, Ike has a conversation with Mia when she is training with him about how whenever Ike trains with Titania and Mist, the two always lose and complain about it.**

**(2) Whenever you don't want to do something, always force a priest to do it. Live life by that motto and you will never be let down.**

**Hooray for a new chapter! And very sorry for the delays, I got very busy with school, and my video games have been taken away.**

**No video games Very little inspiration.**

**So in order to get this chapter out, I forced my closest guy friend to tell me what he feared most that a girl could do. He responded with being skinned alive. So I ended up going to a different male friend for help.**

**I know this chapter isn't great, but I really wanted to get a new chapter out before I ran completely out of time. Final exams are happening for me right now making me fairly busy.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Reviews make me very happy! And thank you to everyone who favorited/reviewed/subscribed last chapter.**

**I hope to get the next chapter out on Wednesday next week, but I can't promise anything. Final exams suck balls, they really do.**


	4. Day 4

Day 4:

Ike thought something might be wrong when he awoke to shrieking.

Very loud shrieking at that. It sounded as if two hyenas had gotten into a giant fight and were now trying to tear each other to shreds. Ike sighed and rubbed his temples. Wait, was that cheering he heard? Ike was now certain something had to be wrong. Unfortunately, as the current leader of the Greil Mercenaries, he had to go out and deal with it. Ike quickly threw on his usual outfit before walking outside.

It appeared as if whatever was going on wasn't immediately near his tent, which was good for Ike. It meant that there wasn't going to be any blood on his tent, assuming some people were in a physical fight. Ike really hoped that it wasn't a physical fight. Unless it was between priests and sages, Ike would be scared to try to break a fight. He knew very well that most of the other members of the mercenaries could easily take him on in a fight of pure strength.

Ike started walking around the camp to look for the shrieking mercenaries. He assumed it had to be two of the girls. Or maybe even Rolf. Ike really hoped if there was a fight, it was between Mist and Ilyana, or Mist and Rolf, or even Ilyana and Rolf. Although how Ilyana and Rolf would get into an argument was beyond Ike. He had seen the pair talk once or twice at most; he doubted they would get into a fight. And judging by the cheering, Ike guessed it probably is a fight between two or more girls.

"Tear her top off!" An especially loud cheer came from, where Ike assumed was, the place the fight was occurring. This confirmed Ike's guess about the fight being between two girls. He sighed and continued searching.

--

It took Ike a little time, but eventually he found the source of the noise. Although, once he found it, he wished he had not. The worst of the worst had happened.

Mia and Titania were in the process of, what appeared to be, battling to the death. They were continuously flipping on top of each other, pulling hair, slapping, screeching, scratching, and doing everything expected in a stereotypical catfight. Titania's shirt (All mercenaries who wore armor in battle dressed in basic shirts and pants at camp normally) was ripped down the middle, and Mia's dress had various tears covering it. Both of the girls' hair was loose and disheveled. Gatrie and Boyd were both standing off to the side encouraging the girls quite loudly.

While Ike was man enough to admit that the two girls fighting was kind of a turn-on, he realized that he would have to break up this fight before it got more out of hand than it already was. He cleared his throat in an attempt to get some attention.

"Hey Ike, come here to watch?" Gatrie asked before looking back towards the fighting girls, "Who would've thought Titania was this hot?" Gatrie asked before cheering again. Ike sighed.

"Gatrie, we need to split them up before they kill each other." Ike explained. Gatrie just looked at him, confused.

"Why would we want to do that? They aren't going to kill each other, and Rhys can heal them after." Gatrie countered, not wanting this display to end. Ike sighed.

"Then we will have to buy Rhys a new mend staff. Which costs money, and if you haven't realized, we don't have all too much money." Ike explained, "Now, can you help me split them up?" Ike asked. Gatrie looked reluctant, but realized Ike might pull the whole 'I'm the commander, you have to obey me' thing.

"Fine," he replied, "What do you want me to do." Ike explained to Gatrie that he and, the previously forgotten Boyd, would have to pull Titania away from Mia together, and that Ike himself would grab Mia.

"Alright, on the count of three." Ike stated, "One, two, three!" With that, the three men pretty much tackled the two girls to get them away from each other.

"Ike! What the hell!" screamed an annoyed Mia, "She has it coming! Let me go!" Mia was kicking, thrashing, and trying to do anything to escape from Ike's grasp on her.

"Mia, calm down." Ike said, continuing to hold onto the purple haired girl, despite all of her attempts to break free. He looked over towards Gatrie and Boyd, seeing that they were having equal trouble holding down Titania, despite having two people hold them her down.

"Ike, Titania's breaking free!" Boyd said in a panic.

"Just keep holding on, do you think you could hold her on your own Boyd?" Ike asked.

"For how long?" Boyd asked.

"Just long enough for Gatrie to bring Rhys over here to treat their wounds, or maybe to bring Ilyana or Mist to calm them down. Just get someone else to help." Ike responded. Boyd nodded.

"It should be fine." Boyd replied, ignoring the thrashing Titania in his arms. Gatrie, after hearing this, immediately ran away to go find someone to help.

"Why are you two even mad at each other?" Ike asked, looking between Mia and Titania. The two normally got along quite well in Ike's view. Mia tried to bite Ike again.

"That whore stole all of the chocolate! I caught her eating it all!" Mia exclaimed, still trying to get free.

"I told you! That was my own chocolate! Not the kitchen's chocolate, MINE!" Titania retorted, still trying to break free from Boyd's arms.

"Oh I doubt that!" Mia yelled, "You're lying! I know you just wanted all of the chocolate to yourself, Fatty!"

"I am not a Fatty! It's just the damn armor! I am so much thinner than you!" Titania yelled back. Ike was now wondering why the two girls didn't just walk to town and buy more chocolate, but was quickly snapped out of the thought when Mia bit him again to get free. At this point, Ike realized he would have to get his arm healed due to all the bite marks.

"Okay, Mia," Ike decided to resolve this issue as quickly as possible, "Titania might've eaten all of the chocolate, but she has a supply of her own that she would've gone to first. You could just walk to town and get more chocolate." Ike explained. Just as he said that, Gatrie came running back with Rhys in tow.

"Sorry, Mist couldn't come because she was complaining about cramps." Gatrie explained, before a concerned Rhys walked over to the scene and began healing people.

"What happened this time?" Rhys asked, sighing as he healed Mia, Titania, and Ike.

"Catfight." Ike explained in one word, before loosing his grip on, the now calmer Mia, in order to have his arms healed by Rhys. Rhys then muttered something under his breath about being 'Taken for granted' and 'They'd all be dead because of each other if it weren't for me'.

--

After being healed up, Mia and Titania calmed down and apologized to one another for making such a big deal over nothing. All was well in the Greil Mercenaries camp for the time being….

Until Ilyana found out there wasn't any more chocolate.

"WHO THE FUCK STOLE ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE!" The enraged cries of the Thunder Sage could be heard all the way across the camp. Ike sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance. This time, some one else could deal with Ilyana.

That someone turned out to be an unsuspecting Oscar.

The enraged Thunder Sage had run up to the unsuspecting Squinty-eyed knight, new Arcthunder Tome in hand.

"Oscar," Ilyana growled menacingly, "What happened to all of the chocolate?" Oscar looked at her nervously.

"I had to use it in the bacon cheesecake earlier this week…" Oscar explained, "We could walk to a nearby town and get some chocolate maybe?" Oscar suggested. Ilyana looked at Oscar, annoyed.

"I don't want chocolate in an hour." She stated simply, "I want chocolate NOW!" She demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

"Ilyana, I apologize, I don't have any chocolate at the moment." Oscar replied, "Have you tried seeing if Mist has any chocolate she could share with you?" Oscar asked.

"Yes, she threw a pot at my head. She didn't want to share." Ilyana said sadly. Oscar felt sorry for the Thunder Sage, so he put his hand on his shoulder. Ilyana leaned onto him.

"Mmm… Oscar, you're so warm…" Ilyana exclaimed before leaning more onto Oscar and clinging to him. Oscar shifted uncomfortably, he knew that if Soren saw this he would immediately assume Oscar had forced Ilyana to cheat on him. Oscar tried to push Ilyana away. She immediately gave him a pout, "Why are you pushing me away? I just want a hug…" She stated. Oscar felt sympathetic, and put her into a warm hug.

But, Murphy's Law **(1)** has to apply, and Soren walked around the corner just in time to see Oscar and Ilyana in a hug that looked more romantic than it should have.

Needless to say, Oscar later found himself in the same sort of predicament as Gate had the day before, only instead of Thunder Magic, Oscar had the pleasure of experiencing Wind.

Poor Rhys had to spend the entire night treating Oscar's wounds.

**--**

**(1) If something can go wrong, it will.**

**Sorry for the lateness of this new chapter. It was supposed to be out a week ago x.x. This was written in between exams mainly, so it isn't as good as it could be. **

**Thank you for all of the reviews/favorites/subscriptions. They make me feel happy and guilt me into writing new chapters.**

**Anyways, now I am off school officially. No more exams or anything. So I can hopefully get chapters out faster. Hopefully.**

**And I have recently decided that Titania and Shinon would make a pretty good couple. And Rhys could go in there as well. Shinon, Rhys, and Titania could be a redhead threesome! Seriously, think about it. I might write a fic about that…**

**Oh! I am also looking for a beta for all of my future Fire Emblem stories… I just need the person to have email, have more school experience than grade 7 (My experience), and have played Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn all the way through. Please PM me or leave a review if you are interested.**

**Oh! It is also worth mentioning, Catfights are not fun. I have been in one, and ended up having scratches all over my body. Not to mention a nice shirt was ruined… And I can't remember what the fight was about even**

**Fire Emblem © Nintendo.**


	5. Day 5

Day 5:

Day 5:

Most people had known for some time that Ilyana was a closet Yaoi-Fangirl.

However, this did not prepare Ike any more for what he woke up to. First of all, Ike was tied up. How anyone would've done this while he was sleeping was beyond Ike. He thought he had trained himself to be a light sleeper in case he was attacked while he was asleep. Maybe someone slipped something into his drink?

Second thing he noticed was his lack of usual clothing. Ike wasn't naked or anything, he just happened to be wearing nothing except for his boxers. Ike happened to usually throw on a t-shirt and pants to sleep, except when it was very hot, so how he would've ended up almost naked was beyond Ike.

Third thing he noticed was that he was not alone. In fact, Soren was across the room, and in the same predicament as Ike. It also seemed that the Wind Sage was struggling against the ropes tied around him. He looked around the room to see Ike awake.

"You're finally awake." Soren stated bluntly. Ike nodded.

"Any idea what's going on?" Ike asked. Soren shook his head.

"I woke up like this." He answered simply, looking around the room again.

"Do you have any idea where we are?" Ike asked. Soren nodded.

"I am pretty sure this is Ilyana's tent." Soren responded, "If it is, however, we are in for a ton of trouble." Soren explained, "You know about her fangirl tendencies, don't you?" Ike shuddered. If Soren's guess was correct, the two men were in a lot of trouble. Ike didn't even want to think about what Ilyana would make them do.

The two men sat there in silence for the next couple of minutes. They were both trying to break free from the ropes tying them up. Eventually, Ilyana returned to her tent.

"I see you're both up!" Ilyana said cheerfully. Ike and Soren exchanged "Oh shit" expressions.

"Ilyana," Soren said calmly, hoping to reason with the thunder sage, "Why did you tie us up?" Ilyana looked at Soren with an innocent expression.

"Because if you weren't tied up and helpless, you probably wouldn't agree to what I am going to make you two do." Ilyana said, still maintaining an innocent tone. Ike gulped, but Soren remained calm.

"We won't agree to your plans, Ilyana." Soren stated, "You know Ike and I could beat you in a fight."

Ilyana smirked evilly, "You both are completely unarmed, in your underwear, tied up, and I have my Arcthunder Tome with me." This statement made even Soren look nervous. Soren sighed.

"What do we need to do to get out of here?" Soren asked, defeated. Ilyana presented him with a book.

"Act out pages 36-78 please! **(1)**" Ilyana exclaimed.

--

Ilyana left her tent an hour later skipping and singing as if she were the happiest girl in the world. Soren and Ike, however…

Soren and Ike left the room looking towards the ground, ashamed.

"It never happened. We never speak of this again." Ike commanded. Soren nodded and walked away, in search of a place where he could avoid Ike for the remainder of the day.

--

In the meantime, Rhys was dealing with a passed out Gatrie. Oscar approached the priest.

"Rhys, have you seen Ike?" Oscar asked, before noticing the knocked out lance general, "What happened to Gatrie?" He asked.

"Mist and Mia decided they wanted to play in the mud," Rhys explained, "They ended up having a mud war, Gatrie here got a little excited."

"Excuse me?" Oscar asked, "Is that also why your robe is covered in mud?"

"Mia decided she wanted me to join in their mud fight. She tried to force me in. I am kind of happy Gatrie passed out to be honest. I got to escape to help him." Rhys answered. Oscar nodded.

"Do you need any help lugging Gatrie to his tent?" Oscar asked.

"Yes, thank you." Rhys answered as the two lugged the lance general to his tent.

--

Even though Ike was still scarred from the earlier experience with Ilyana and Soren, he still had to eat. Meaning, Ike was currently in the dining hall facing another questionable scene.

After all, it was not every day a guy saw his little sister caked in mud and flirting with not one, but two guys at the same time.

Oh, did Ike also forget to mention that Mist appeared to be wearing the shortest skirt on the planet?

He had to take a moment to block his older-brother instincts. It would not be good for the Greil Mercenaries to lose two of its members.

Even if it was just Boyd and Rolf.

Despite Ike having entered the room, Mist continued her actions. Switching between flirting with Boyd and Rolf. Ike coughed to get their attention.

He was ignored.

"Excuse me," Ike asked, annoyed at being ignored, "Mist, what are you doing?" Boyd and Rolf looked a little scared after being caught. Mist simply put her arms around the two guys.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Mist asked, "I'm simply looking for some… fun." This nearly made Ike pass out, and certainly made his older brother reflexes take over.

"Okay! That's it! Boyd, Rolf, get the hell out!" Ike yelled, he had snapped, Rolf and Boyd immediately bolted, "Mist, come with me. We need to have a little talk." Ike stated before dragging Mist off for a daylong conversation about how she couldn't get pregnant until she was at least 23.

Surprisingly, Ike never saw Titania that day. Or Mia. He was greatful, in a way.

Five days down, two to go.

**--**

**A/N:**

**(1) Ilyana made them act out random Disney songs. Not what you are thinking, perverts.**

**I'm sorry.**

**This chapter is 3 weeks overdue. And it is super short.**

**Did I mention I am sorry?**

**Either way, I have an actual excuse this time. My Grandpa died and I had to go to his funeral all the way in Quebec with no computer, not to mention I was really depressed for a while afterwards making it hard for me to write any stories.**

**When I'm happy, I write. When I'm sad, I draw.**

**So this isn't my best work. Either way, the next chapter will be out sooner hopefully. 2 weeks overdue was this one.**

**Thank you to all of my reviewers. Reviews make me write faster.**

**And I want to give a special thanks to ****Fire Emblem Mew Mew**** for reviewing each chapter. I really appreciate the time given to write reviews.**

**Oh! And, You just lost the game.**


	6. Bonus Chapter

In Crimea Castle:

**In Crimea Castle:**

_Tap, tap, tap._

_**SLAM!**_

"_This is my hiding spot!" _The harsh whisper had come from none other than the leader of Crimea's knights, Geoffrey. The other man whimpered.

"_My dear Geoffrey I must request permission to stay in here with you, for your lovely sister has gone absolutely blazing mad." _Bastian returned the harsh whisper, _"Why are you in this closet?" _He asked. Geoffrey shuddered.

"_Elincia, and my sister." _He responded. _"If you stay quiet, I'm fine with you being here." _He explained before Bastian took a seat beside the blunette.

_Tap, tap, tap._

_**SLAM!**_

Geoffrey sighed, _"Kieran, what do you need?" _He asked, whispering harshly to avoid being heard, _"Are you hiding from someone?" _He asked.

"Fifth Platoon Captain Kieran doesn't hide from-" shushing noises cut off Kieran.

"_Do you want to get us caught?" _Geoffrey asked.

"_Sorry." _He apologized before starting at the beginning again, _"But Fifth Platoon Captain Kieran doesn't hide from anything!" _Geoffrey and Bastian gave him odd looks, _"I'm hiding from Marcia… She's gone mad! She tried to attack me with her javelin but I narrowly escaped when-" _Geoffrey cut him off again.

"_It doesn't matter, just be quiet and sit down." _Geoffrey whispered before tugging the red haired knight down.

_Tap, tap, tap._

_**SLAM!**_

"_There's not going to be enough room in here…" _The new addition whispered as he sat down, everyone looked at him.

"_Ah! Naesala the mightly crow king!" _Bastian exclaimed as quietly as he could, _"What are you doing here at this hour on this most wonderful of days?" _Naesala took a second to make sense of what Bastian had said, then sighed.

"_Avoiding Leanne." _He whispered back, _"I never realized just how dangerous those Heron songs could be…" _Naesala muttered before sitting down. Everyone gave him a curious look, but decided ignorance was bliss in this situation.

"_Least we have it better than Largo…" _Geoffrey commented idly. Everyone gave him odd looks, _"Didn't you see that meteor earlier?" _He asked, gaining shudders from everyone in the closet.

_Tap, tap, tap._

_**SLAM!**_

"_Do male herons have a time of the month?" _Tibarn asked.

**--**

**Thank you all for all the reviews!**

**You may have noticed my name switched. It did. Nuff said. Accept it as a new part of life.**

**The bonus chapter is dedicated to a reviewer who said the other females should be brought in!**

**The real chapter 6 will be out eventually…**

**Fire Emblem © Nintendo.**


	7. Day 6

Ike awoke to screaming.

Worse screaming than he was used to, and he swore he could hear loud crying in the midst of it all. Ike wasn't entirely sure what was more pathetic, the fact that he was used to some screaming, or that he didn't stir out of bed like he should've. Rather, Ike attempted to put a pillow over his ears and pretend that nothing was happening.

However, the screaming got louder, and Ike's older brother sense began tingling when he thought he heard Mist crying, so he bolted out of bed soon after.

Oddly enough, upon further inspection, Ike discovered the crying was coming from Soren and Ilyana's shared tent. Ike didn't have time to dawdle on the oddness, however, because his little sister was crying, and whoever was doing it was going to get an iron sword shoved into _many _painful places, and get latrine duty for the next month.

Ike burst open the tent flap, and stared at the site. Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as he thought, unfortunately, Ike remembered that the mages could kill him if they wanted to, so he had to resist the urge to immediately begin slaying people.

"And you just flat out should _not _steal my stuff of sneak into my tent I mean oh my goddess you must be a pervert if you would do something like this you little whore!" That lovely phrase came from none other than a skirtless Ilyana, who appeared to be screaming at a sobbing Mist, who was dawning Ilyana's missing skirt.

Ike blushed and attempted to look away, but he couldn't draw his eyes away from the scene no matter how hard he tried. Soren looked up from the cot and gave him a little wave "Good morning Ike." He said before collapsing back into the warm blankets in the cot. The commander guessed that he had another exhausting night with Ilyana.

Mist was crying even harder, "It-it's n-not my fault nothing else will fit me! I'm too bloated…" She sobbed, wiping tears off on her fingerless gloves.

Ilyana grew even angrier, "So now you're calling me _fat?_" Mist attempted to interject, but Ilyana was louder than the small cleric, "You know you're so not one to talk! I can see a potbelly growing under your shirt! I bet you're pregnant you little slut! Who've you been sleeping with? Gatrie? Boyd? Rolf? Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if it was Ike who you were letting get a small taste of-" That was the line, and Ike decided he had to interrupt.

"Ilyana, that's enough." He stated firmly, walking over and giving Mist a small hug, trying to calm her down. Mist buried her face into Ike's shirt and clung to his chest. The blunette briefly gave Soren a 'Why aren't you helping' glare, but saw that the sage was fast asleep, and decided he'd take it up later with his tactician.

Ike sighed, "So Mist, did you take Ilyana's skirt?" He asked, although the answer was obvious to him.

Mist sniffled, taking her face out of Ike's shirt briefly, "I only did it 'cause my skirt didn't fit me. I thought Ily would understand." She said, pouting.

Ike then turned to the fuming thunder sage, "All right, Ilyana. I understand that Mist did take your skirt, but is it worth getting this angry over?"

"Do you expect me to go around pantless all day? Did she ever think about what I was going to do? What if I hadn't caught her? I can't very well walk around like this!" She screamed, pointing down to her bare legs.

Ike took a deep breath. "All right, here's what is going to happen." He looked towards Mist, "You're going to have to return Ilyana's skirt to her." Mist looked crushed, and it took a fair amount of Ike's willpower not to crack under Mist's little sister charm. "And then that will solve the one issue to begin with. Next, Mist, I will let you wear my shirt around your waist to my tent, as that will prevent embarrassment."

"Pfft. That would serve her _right, _if you ask me. Let the little thief get what she deserves." Ilyana commented, flipping a pigtail over her shoulder.

Ike shot her a 'Please shut up look', "Then, Mist, you can borrow a pair of my pants, or an extra shirt of mine to wear as a dress." He explained.

Mist nodded, instantly perking up, "Okay!" She exclaimed happily, sliding Ilyana's skirt off and throwing it to the thunder mage, who bit her thumb in Mist's direction.

Ike then slid his shirt off and passed it to Mist, who happily fastened it into a makeshift skirt and happily skipped out of the tent.

The commander looked towards Soren, who was still sleeping, before exiting the tent after Mist, hearing a wolf whistle from Mia from his lack of shirt.

---

"Rhys, are you _sure _she's still alive?"

"If you want, I can check again and use another heal, but she's breathing and doesn't appear to have any broken limbs."

"No, I mean, she's not moving or _anything._ She just lies there… moaning and such…"

"Boyd, I'm certain that she's alive. A little cold wouldn't take Titania down. She's just been feeling a little… er… off this week."

"Off?"

"Er… I'd rather not explain it, but if you want to see here you can go ahead. I can promise that the… condition that she is suffering of is not risky for you to be around… at least not in any conventional way."

"You're… sure about this?"

"Yes, defiantly. Now, would you like to go see her?"

"Again, you're sure she's alive?"

"Yes, I already said that. Why?"

"Well, she's still not even moving in any way!"

"Please keep it down Boyd, Titania is trying to sleep."

"Don't worry, I just want to see if she looks all right."

"Don't get to close, she's sleeping."

"You worry to much! See! She's harmless! She's just sleeping! Oh wait, oh goddess, it's alive! Those eyes are bright red! Oh goddess oh goddess, kill it! Kill it! Oh goddess it has a hand on me! Kill it, Rhys! Kill it!"

Titania growled, "If you don't get me a mug of beer this instant I will cut out your entrails and feed them to Ilyana…"

Boyd ran out the room faster than Mia on a sugar rush. Titania turned to Rhys smugly, "See, I told you that would work." She cuddled back into the pillow, "So you know, the same applies to you. You have one minute. Go."

---

"Gatrie? Has anyone ever told you your arms are amazing?" Mia asked, feeling along the general's arms.

Gatrie flexed, "Well, I have been told a thing or two…"

"And your legs, by Ashera, I've never seen anyone with so much muscle…" She purred, trailing a hand down the blond's leg.

She smirked; Gatrie was falling right into her trap.

"Oh! I have a little question…" Mia said, moving her lips to Gatrie's earlobe, "I have just one or two things I really want to get from the convoy, but I spent all my pay on a new sword… Is there any way such a cute guy could help out such a helpless girl?"

"Of course… anything you say…"

---

An hour later, Gatrie stood, pockets empty and without Mia in sight.

"Didn't you ever stop to wonder why I didn't shoot out your heart the moment I saw her with you?" Shinon asked the, now broke, general.

---

**A/N: 'Late'? What do you mean 'late'? I do not know the meaning of this word, 'Late'.**

**Erm… yes.**

**Thank you to Solis Knight for actually getting me to get my butt in gear and finish this chapter. Thank you to reviews/favoriters/alerters. You all are quite inspiring. I apologize for the huge delay, and hope you all enjoyed this chapter~**

**Reviews are love, as usual.**


	8. Day VII and VIII

Mist wasn't anywhere to be found when Ike got up. He wasn't surprised.

Had it been any other day, any other week, in any other month, he might've been suspicious. However, due to the fact that it was the affirmed day, in the mentioned month, of the specific week, Ike wasn't even flinching.

No, and he didn't flinch at breakfast either when Ilyana dragged an almost nude Soren into the meal tent by his ear, sat him down, and gave him a strong lecture about eating his vegetables while everyone else just sat and stared, because really, there was no chance of them ever seeing Soren shirtless again.

Ike didn't even move when Mist suddenly entered the meal tent clad in Soren's robes, sat down, and just cried her eyes out while Ilyana immediately began alternating between a, now annoyed, Soren's vegetable needs and Mist's emotional needs.

He didn't twitch when Boyd entered only to be tackled by an overly excitable Titania who slammed the reaver's head between her breasts, unintentionally, as far as Ike knew, but much to the axe man's joy. He completely ignored how Titania was singing a song of joy and cuddling a still depressed Mist.

Ike also took no notice to how Mia and Shinon both didn't even show up for breakfast, and how when he saw them after Shinon seemed exhausted and Mia couldn't hide the marks on her neck if she _tried. _

He payed no attention to Mist when she claimed they didn't have enough 'sibling time' and dragged him off to a field to talk about any romantic interests they might've had, and he definitely ignored Mist when she began going on about why each member of the mercenary company was '_hawt', _or so she said.

He disregarded the frying pan that was thrown a good six or seven feet at a panicking Boyd, but it was loud. Ike then payed no attention to the normally somewhat calm reaver almost wetting his pants while hiding with Oscar.

He neglected Rolf being forced into an elf costume by Mia (Speaking of which, where had she managed to get that? Ike was curious about this). He didn't even bother trying to save the poor archer when Mia demanded he 'danced like the puppet he knew he was'.

He turned a blind eye when Ilyana demanded that _Gatrie _of all people cook her an extravagant six course meal consisting of foods Ike hadn't even known existed until this very day, while enjoying Mia's dancing elf. Gatrie of course, having cooked once or twice in his life at most, seemed to be having much difficulty with the fancy meal, but was determined not to let down the pretty girl that was Ilyana.

Dealing with seven days of this mess, it had killed the hero's spirit. Nothing he had ever done in his life had ever even compared to this. Killing Ashnard, defeating Ashera, dealing with his father's and mother's deaths... It all seemed insignificant at this very moment.

His spirit was dead, and now that he faced this, there wasn't anything more difficult for him to face for the rest of his life.

---

_The next day..._

Ike woke up to no screaming, no loud noises, no panicking, no nothing.

This alone was enough to make him doubtful, but there was a chance the girls had planned something worse. Being prepared was the key, being prepared for anything the girls could throw at him or anyone else. When he wandered into the meal tent to see that everyone was present and accounted for, he was more than mistrustful.

It didn't seem like anything was wrong, at that was what made the hero most distrustful. "Boss!" Ah, the cheery, normal voice of the peppy Mia. Normally, Ike wouldn't have blinked an eyebrow at this, but he knew she was hiding something. There was no way she was doing this for a normal reason. "Want to duel after breakfast? We missed a duel at dawn!" She exclaimed.

Ike blinked, was this a trap to lure him away from the group so she could satisfy some sick food craving? Was she going to eat him when she caught him? The questions raced through his head. He decided to take the easy way out, "Er... I think I need to... do the weapon inventory!" He exclaimed.

She raised an eyebrow, "I thought you did that a couple of days ago?" She inquired.

Soren nodded, looking up from a book, "Yes, yes we did." He explained, before realizing just why Ike might be doing this. Being his friend, Soren decided to give the poor hero an escape route, "But weapons have been used since then. It would be wise to recheck this."

Mia shrugged, and Ike made a mental note to buy Soren some of the best books they could afford next time they visited a town. Titania looked up from her toast. Normal toast, Ike noted, not bacon toast or cake or whatever. "Commander, there are a couple of bandits to the east of us. After you finish reviewing the weapons, should you, Soren, and I discuss the battle plans?" She asked.

Ike didn't want to face the paladin. She probably would make them create flower decorations or braid each other's hair or something of equal horror. "Er... Why don't we just send Mia, Rolf, and Rhys off to deal with them? Mia wanted to spar, and Mist and Rolf need some training."

Soren interrupted, "Not a wise idea. We can send Oscar and Titania with them as re-enforcements. Sending too few people to train isn't a good idea at all."

"All right, but see? We don't need a whole meeting at all!" He chuckled nervously, tugging at his headband.

Titania shook her head, "I suppose not. We'll prepare after breakfast..." She muttered, "You sure you shouldn't come as well, Ike?"

"I'll be fine, really." He said as a final decision.

Mist nodded, "In that case, will you help me prepare after battle?" She asked. "It's always more fun to have someone there!"

Ike bit his lip. Did Mist need to confide in him again? He couldn't take more girl talk! She probably conspired with Mia to eat him, Ike figured. "Er... Maybe some other time. I will be busy with the stock, remember?" He couldn't remember a time he had been more nervous. Yesterday, it had been easy to ignore, but he could only be normal for so long! He was at his breaking point! What did the girls want from him?

"You're acting really strange Ike..." Mist gave a concerned look, "You normally wouldn't pass on sparring or anything... And you normally hate doing stock..."

Mia looked towards him, "Yeah... what are you, like PMSing or something?"

**-Fin-**

**A/N: Woooooo! It's finally done! I want to take this time to thank all my reviewers! It has been great, really. Special thanks to Solis Knight, again, because he reminded me of this fic and demanded a new chapter.**

**So seriously, thank you all. It has been great, and I'm slightly disappointed it has to end. However, I might do a bonus chapter featuring all the laguz. Would anyone be interested if I did?**

**Reviews are still loved!**

**~Lynnie Kleriker**


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